Tent listed at 1.1kg trail weight arrived at 1.49kg on my scales, which number does everyone quote in their gear lists

Mine came out the same way and the breakdown was worth doing. Original stakes 168g for eight, replacements 96g for eight of a slightly better shape. Two stuff sacks 44g, gone. Guylines already attached, kept. That took a 1.49 down to about 1.34 for eleven pounds and no risk, which is a better return per pound than most gear swaps at that weight.

Trail or minimum weight is body, fly and poles. Packed weight is everything the manufacturer put in the box, including the bags you will probably throw away and the eight steel stakes you will definitely replace. Neither of them is your number, which is what you actually carry after you swap the stakes and bin one of the sacks.

The reason the two numbers exist is that a tent has to be comparable on a shelf next to a competitor, and the competitor is quoting minimum weight too, so nobody can stop. It is not exactly dishonest, it is just a number for comparing tents rather than for planning your back. Compare like for like when shopping and weigh your own kit when packing.

Slight disagreement with the idea that packed weight is padded nonsense. On a trekking pole shelter the poles are yours and are not in either figure, and on a freestanding tent they are included, so minimum weight is the number that lets you see that difference clearly. I would rather people posted both than picked a side.

Buy a cheap kitchen scale that reads to one gram and weigh everything once, including the bits you assume are trivial. My assumed 6.3kg base weight was 7.1kg. Nothing improves until the spreadsheet stops being fiction.