what does being killed the nice way even mean?

So me and my bf were talking about intimacy and how were both asexual but the only person that ever made him feel otherwise was his ex. he said "Usually when I’m REALLY down there in the bad places in my head I go back to my ex
Although I’m not sure why I go back there so at least you have some answers (i told him about a past relationship i go back to in my moments of weakness)
I only really know I get self destructive so being killed the nice way like she was doing to me would probably be fine"
what does being killed the nice way even mean?? and does he mean he wants me to act like her?