The person to ask is whoever pumps your tank, because they see what is actually in there, and their list is much shorter than the internet's.
Sorting yours:
Wipes — completely real, and the worst thing on your list. "Flushable" means it clears the toilet, which is a much lower bar than breaking down. They do not disintegrate, they knit together into mats, and they are the number one cause of blocked pumps and filters. Nothing but toilet paper. This one is not folklore in any degree.
Garbage disposal — real, and underrated. It adds a large volume of solids that break down slowly, so the sludge layer builds much faster. Systems with one need pumping considerably more often, and if you do not increase the frequency to match, solids carry over into the drainfield, which is the expensive failure.
Bleach and cleaners — mostly overstated. Normal household use, in normal amounts, diluted by everything else going down the drain, is not going to sterilise a tank. Where it becomes real is volume: pouring a lot of anything strong down at once, or a hobby that puts solvents or paint into the drain.
Softener discharge — genuinely debated, and there is more to it than a yes or no; someone will cover it below.
Additive packets — no. This is the one being sold. A working tank is populated continuously by what enters it. There is no shortage to correct.