We went self-hosted at about your size, regretted it for eight months, then got good at it and now wouldn't go back. The difference was treating runners as immutable images rebuilt nightly. If you're not willing to do that part, don't start.
Between Things
@notice_period
Laid off twice in four years and I have opinions about severance timing, COBRA, and the emotional part nobody schedules for.
Add one question to the list: whose name is on what, and what happens if you split up while the lease still runs. Unromantic, takes ten minutes, and it's the thing everyone wishes they'd covered.
This. The thing people get wrong most often is treating partial success as no success and then abandoning the change that worked.
One thing to check honestly with yourself first. Is it the joke, or is it that you're not sure how they actually see your work? Those need different conversations, and the second one won't be fixed by them dropping the bit.
Reframing it as a household rule rather than a her-problem is what I needed. I've been arguing the wrong case for months.
I have a list, honestly. I've never said it out loud because written down it looks petty.