Pat

The stall point being the actual gap is the most useful thing in this thread. It turns a vague sense of not getting it into one specific question you can go and ask.

Related trick that costs nothing: explain it to an object. Talk it through to a wall, a plant, a rubber duck, whatever. It feels ridiculous for about eleven seconds and then it works, because speaking forces sequence and sequence exposes the gaps that nodding along conceals. I have solved a lot of problems this way while my colleague was still walking over to my desk.

Half of interrupting is fear of losing the thought. Give yourself somewhere to put it. In meetings I write two words on paper and the urge disappears instantly, because the thought is now safe. Socially, the two words go on the back of my hand or nowhere at all, and I have found that a thought worth saying comes back and one that does not was not worth the interruption.

Worth doing this in front of a mirror with the toile actually closed at the back. Pinning a gape on a half open bodice gives you a number that is wrong by quite a lot.

This is also why interview style conversations feel exhausting for the other person. They are doing all the disclosing and getting nothing back, which reads as being assessed.

Did it with twelve one cent coins. She got there herself in about five minutes and then made up two more comparisons to test me.

One more thing that gets missed: the shape of the back crotch curve, not just its length. Many patterns use a fairly straight, shallow back curve so they can be graded cheaply. If your body has a more pronounced curve, adding length alone does not do it, you also need to scoop the curve deeper by 5 to 8mm near the crotch point.